Ode to Partying

Ode to Partying part i

Going out with a really good group of mates is the most fun a person can have with his pants on...In my time I’ve had some utterly memorable (it doesn’t matter that I can’t actually remember them) jols with the ridiculous group of people I call my mates. We have been doing this going out thing for the better part of a decade now (well legally at least) and for some reason it doesn’t get tired!

When we were fourteen odd we used to have really fun house parties. Boys and girls talking up a storm. Planning and plotting. Trying to hook one friend up with another, with the ultimate goal of getting them to be boyfriend and girlfriend. Loads of marshmellows and candy in general was consumed at these “get togethers” while learning  the fundamentals of interacting with women folk. Important lessons learned in the quest to eventually be half way decent party revellers!

In to our latter teens our friendship group, sadly, began to fragment. The lure of older boys and their cool party’s for the girls, and the lure of younger girls and the accompanying hero worship for the lads. It also became fashionable for us to indulge in a bit of barley and hops.  It was a carefree period, and we made the absolute most of it! No one ever had to drive, somebody was bankrolling our partying, and although what we were doing was illegal we were generally carrying on pretty safely.

There were many brilliant nights! Out of this world in fact, but nothing compares to the summer of 2001! The longest, most memorable party-despite it having morphed into one night-ever! It was the first holiday all the lads had gone on together and it was our first taste of relative freedom, and by golly we made hay while the sun shone! We partied until the sun literally came up while consuming copious amounts of Gods nectar! Our following December holiday was to be the legendary Matric rave, so we decided this would be a prequel, a dress rehearsal if you please. Boy did we dress, and rehearse! Frolicking on Look out beach and its deck by day, and throwing our good names away at The Cave and Vip by night. Many tequilas were consumed and even more girls invited for a dance. Many girls declined...Some didn’t! Those that didn’t were great early morning conversation pieces in our little six by ten square feet bedroom. Said bedroom was furnished with a bunk bed and finished with a wide array of clothes strewn across the length, and breadth of the room. Boys will be boys. Five of them sharing a room like that was a natural disaster!

Till this day whenever I look back at that holiday-which included a cringeworthy blonde-cum-ginger hairdo on my part-my heart is filled with warmth and elation.  We solidified our bond of friendship, through many a conversation, argument and beer. We even invented a drinking game. The much vaunted but sadly infrequently played Strip-hous-flicking. It was the greatest time of my life... Until my next December holiday. 

Friendship zone

Relations between males and females are complex. I suspect this has always been the case, I mean judging from the whole Adam and Eve hoopla, I don’t suppose my suspicions are from the truth! I’m not entirely sure what exactly complicates these matters, but I certainly wish I knew. It would make my life much better!

I have been in this murky world of male and female interactions for some fifteen years now, and of all the difficult challenges in life this is the most difficult! I have had little success in simplifying this situation. I do not seek this clarity for the sake of the broader male species, but rather for myself. I really like women. They are a Gods way of letting us know he exists. I am not just referring to their appearance-although it is well documented that I am a fan, a huge fan of their form and appearance. It is their gentle touch, gentle disposition, and general warmth towards us males that makes me really love them. I am not just talking about my mother and sisters here. I have made many female friends growing up and they have played a major role in shaping my perspective on life.

The problem or challenge or whatever you want to call it is that many of these female friends have not been friendship material to begin with. In fact many of them have started out as girlfriend/partner material for me.  Some of them even know that my interest in them stretched further than the friendship branch but that’s neither here nor there. What I often wonder though is how I get myself into the “friendship zone” quite so often. I am a friendly person by nature, but I seem to be particularly good at making friends with women that I’m attracted to. This is a curse I would wish on no man! All too often I’ll be trying to court a lady, and she’ll be trying to make a new friend! The courtship never wins out I might add.

Interestingly though I think this problem has contributed to making me a more rounded individual. The amount of rejection I’ve taken has really toughened what was a fragile character. As a youngstar of 12/13 I struggled from a serious lack of confidence. Partly due to being a fat kid, and partly I guess from being “different”. Different in the sense that most of my mates were Caucasian and I was (am) not. When we chased after girls as youngstas we’d invariably chase after white girls. I don’t suppose it’s a particularly good look-when you are a 12 year old white girl-being with a fat, black guy. No hate it’s just that at that age conforming is king!  This is not a black white thing, nor fat thin thing, I am merely trying to be candid about my background.

   So now that my character has been reinforced and my friendship pool widened, it is time to get to the bottom of this friendship zone situation! I will be steering as far clear from this zone as possible for the next little while I try and fathom this male female interaction, and try and right Adam’s wrongs(if he has any).

Soccer Development: The Prequeal

The prequeal to the piece I put up yesterday. Essentially just more thoughts...

Serious about Development

As someone who’s grown up with a great affection for sport I have always wondered how great sportsmen and women emerge and from whence they emerge. It always boggled my mind that these sports stars often came from far, far away places. While it gave me the impression that true talent will always find a vessel and a platform to be expressed it always left me thinking about the plethora of talent left out. The millions of girls and boys with unimaginable talent that I’ll never get to feast my eyes on. This bothers me. As a sports fan, I want to see all the talent! I want it to be at my fingertips. Every time I flick my remote I should be seeing the most amazing athlete I’ve ever seen until the next time I flick my remote and see the most amazing athlete I’ve ever seen. Every news article I read should be making me aware of a talented youngster I need to watch!  

It begs the question; how do we ensure this talent doesn’t slip through our fingers. And by our, I’m referring to the South African sport loving public. The millions of South Africans who regularly go to stadia. The millions who get in to their teams colours even if they’re team are playing a thousand miles from where they sit. Most importantly I’m talking about me. For too long I’ve suffered in silence. It’s time I got my just desserts for being such a loyal fan. It’s time I was rewarded with even more talent! It’s out there! I know it’s out there!

I say it’s time to go out and find it. To bring it back, cultivate it and nurture it so that I and millions of other fanatics can be entertained.  It’s the only way sports can grow in this country.

My particular love and topic of discussion is football, or soccer, or even diski if you so please. This is a sport enjoyed and/or followed by the majority of the people in this country. It is a sport with a potential to be the greatest economic equalizer in Jacob Zuma’s land. The truth lies in development. It is of the utmost importance that soccer be developed. It is everybody’s duty-and ultimately joy-to ensure that there is sustainable development in this particular genre of sport. We the football loving masses of this country require large scale investment from big business, government and clubs to reach this initiative. We need the schools of excellence to be resurrected and run efficiently. We need to be certain that the kids attending these academies are getting the very best education, both of the scholastic and football varieties!

These are goals that are wholly attainable if we put our heads and our hearts in the right places. I have very often been told-by non sport followers-that sports fans are irrational. This is not something I’m able to argue. Not rationally anyway, but it’s spoken of like it’s a fault, when really it’s an entirely understandable phenomenon.  I mean how can watching the silky skills of Doctor Khumalo not move you to scream and shout? How can Jerry Skosana’s goal scoring antics not leave you absolutely heartbroken? Need I even talk about the absolute tatters ones emotions are left in after being mesmerised by Roger Feutumba and his most elegant left foot?  You’ll forgive my partiality for as humble fanatic of the boys in gold and black it is difficult for me to talk of these players without prejudice.

I digress, however. What I wanted to talk about was a feasible way to concluding the question of development, and by feasible I don’t mean engaging all stakeholders. Well I do. However, what I want, no what we need is actions. We need companies like Supersport, SAB, SASOL, NIKE, ABSA and the incumbent Transnet to buy into this idea. We need government to put their money where their mouth (I refer to one Butana Komphela) is. We need SAFA to assist us with their human capital for technical abilities. Then we require education specialists to come to the party so as to provide these children with beyond sufficient scholastic training. This has to be a holistic approach.  An academy that’ll produce and indeed harness some of the precocious talent we undoubtedly have in this country.  

If those 6 entities would be willing to part with R10 million each, you’d have a pool of R60m and if an education specialist like David Wylde were to agree to join in such a project and SAFA’s technical people like Stanley Tshablala and/Serame Letsoka were to also buy in to such a project. We’d be some way towards building this dream. 

Development: Just a thought

Overheads: Teachers R200k pm

                      Up keep of grounds R15k pm

                      Logistics-transport to different schools, school trips R75k pm

                      Daily catering

                      Teas R20k pm

                      Technical associates-Football R30k pm

                      Dietician, Physio Therapist/Masseuse, Physical Trainer

Total: R40.8m pa

Development

As somebody who has grown up essentially in the lap of luxury, the topic of rural development has always been one close to my heart. I’ve never understood what entitled me to have the best education money can buy and not my fellow man. In a perfect world quality education is a right and not a privilege! It is thus, I have decided to try as hard as possible to get us living in the perfect world.

There are multinational companies in this country with the resources to lead us to the afore mentioned utopia. However, even more meaningfully there are young adults who are eager to develop themselves into future leaders and sports stars on our continent and indeed globally! The onus is on those of us who are educated and have the means to ensure these dreams become a reality.

A five step programme is required. A programme which requires premium quality education, long term psychological development, top quality technical football skill development,  lasting life skills, as well as a firm grounding and development of individuals.

Allow me to expand on each of these aspects which will ultimately lead to the successful development of tomorrow’s leaders in the soccer fraternity.

EDUCATIONAL DEVELOPMENT

·         Quality education is a key factor in the growth and development of any successful person. This is no different in the case of sports stars. By ensuring these future leaders are educated you help prolong their careers as well allow them to diversify their personalities, thus, creating well rounded balanced individuals.

·         In order to obtain this objective an educator without equal is required. David Wylde springs immediately to mind. The former headmaster of St Stithians College as well as St Andrews as well as former President of ICP is a world renowned education specialist with a knack for churning balanced well rounded individuals. His understanding of the nuances of dealing with adolescent boys is most likely his greatest asset. His record speaks for itself and all one need do is look at the results of his alma mater as well as St Stithians.

LONG TERM PSYCHOLIGICAL DEVELOPMENT

·         In trying to achieve our goal it is important to take a realistic approach to the world. There are many external influences, particularly in the world of professional sport. It is critical that the effects of these influences are minimised by professional assistance while the players are still young. This may well tie up with the topic of key life skills. A man who understands and respects himself is likely to understand and respect his profession and, thus, excel in it.

·         An experienced and shrewd psychologist would be required to undertake this most serious of objectives. Someone like Sue Mackenzie who has worked very successfully within this field would be well qualified to hold such a position. As a “client” of hers myself, I can attest to her brilliance.

TECHNICAL SKILLS DEVELOPMENT

·         Ideally professional footballers should be receiving technical coaching from as early as ages 8 and 9. In this case the students arriving will be 13 or 14 which is not too late to for key fundamental skills training.

·         The key to this objective being reached is off course the scouting of talent early. Once the scouting has been completed it is important to have these kids receiving the coaching from an experienced and steady hand. A man like Stanley Tshabalala who has in the past worked as a development coach for SAFA would be instrumental in scouting players. A man like Serame Letsoke who has coached with some success in the age groups would offer great value in imparting his football knowledge as well as technical skills.

LIFE SKILLS

·         This is an objective closely linked to both, the grounding and development of individuals as well as the psychological development of these future stars. The skills included would be dealing with the usual adolescent skills. Responsibility would be a key lesson. Too often professional sports stars and in the main footballers are not willing to take responsibility for their actions.

I am deeply passionate about a pipe dream like this becoming a reality. An academy or school like this would in all likelihood change the future of a number of immensely talented young individuals. It would return hope to some of the most hopeless communities. Finally and perhaps selfishly it would allow me the opportunity to enjoy the skills of some diamonds that maybe otherwise would not have been found. In order for a piece of charcoal to be priceless, it must be cut, washed and polished. Our aim is to produce diamonds of the highest quality!  

I'm no expert at development, but here are some of my thoughts on developing sportsmen, in particular footballers(coz it's the sport I love) in this country. Hope it makes some degree of sense.

Cheating. But is it really?

The best thing about Sunday league football is the camaraderie, the post and pre game chats. The next best thing about Sunday league football is being away from the stresses of ordinary life. The ability to run around with reckless abandon as though one is a seven year old, with no bond, no car repayments and no one waiting at home to nag you about arriving late last night! (Okay, we bachelors come home to a cold unassuming house, but I think I’ve made my point) and the last great thing about Sunday league football is the opportunity to relive your days as a great on the football pitch. Don’t be fooled, every guy out on the social soccer pitch busting a gut(sometimes literally) believes that in his time, he was good enough to go pro. We all have our story. Some of us were never quite quick enough to go pro. Some of us were overlooked because the coach who-almost always seemed to be the one teacher you failed to get along with-didn’t like you. Others were told by their parents and I quote “My boy I don’t pay thousands of Rands in tuition fees so you can kick a ball around”. Jokes on the latter parents; imagine what a good life they’d be living had their son gone pro and was now earning the kind of wages Man City and Chelsea are shelling out!

But what I really want to talk about is that sense of fun and love against the professionalism of sport. More often than not, the sports fans I have encountered have been players themselves. Not professional obviously but certainly serious enough. They are often people who fully understand and stand by the theory of “good sportsmanship”. You’ll see this good sportsmanship any time a couple of lads take part in a sport. If a guy knocks the ball on playing touch, he will pass the ball to the opposition without a question being asked, should he receive the ball in an offside position it is not unthinkable that said player will stop without an argument.

This leads me nicely to my question about whether pro sportsmen adhere or should even adhere to this unwritten code? Think Diego Maradonna and his hand of God, Thierry Henry and his outrageous handball, Richie Mccaw, Phil Waugh,Schalk Burger and other ‘fetchers’ (who essentially transgress the laws of the breakdown any opportunity they get)and the new culture sweeping through basketball of players feigning contact in the paint thus earning them two free-throws. What about that awkward moment when Cristiano Ronaldo got his Manchester United teammate Wayne Rooney sent off in the World cup? These are all incidents of unsporting behaviour. However, the caveat has to be that they are performed in professional sports events. This is these peoples’ professions. Winning for them is different to winning for us, for them there are win bonuses, potential endorsements/sponsorships, and potentially even lucrative moves to bigger and better things. For us, there’s the euphoria of winning, and of course the all important bragging rights. These are hardly comparable in my humble opinion! I mean getting to remind a mate that he lost as opposed to potential six figure deals, hey, come on!

I am not sure that I am even saying it is right. I think what it I would like to say is, it is understandable and for me even acceptable. Many call it cheating, I don’t think it is. There are referees on the field to ensure that the players do not get away with these sleights of hand. Moreover, they’ve become so much a part of the game that these infringements hardly ever raise the ire of sports fans anymore. Not unless it is a foul as flagrant (some might say audacious) as Henry’s handball. 

However, the argument could I suppose be made that, there are laws and law enforcement agencies in the world. That does not suggest that we should go about transgressing the laws. I cannot disagree with that. However, how many times have you driven at 130km/h? How many times have you had three beers instead of two? I want to say these are minor infringements in the hope that I will not receive a barrage of self-righteous abuse! Here’s hoping! The point I am trying to make I suppose is that none of us are perfect. Therefore, it is perhaps unfair of us to expect our idols, the men and women who draw us to those stadia, arenas, and courts to be blemish free.

Just a thought.       

Vodacom Durban July

I was asked last Thursday as I eagerly anticipated the Durban July just what the big fuss surrounding the event was. I replied to this insane-to me-question with a series of my own questions. Do you like partying? Do you like pretty people? Do you like summer in the middle of winter? Do you like getting a little inebriated in the sun? The person in question answered in the affirmative to most of these answers but still didn’t see the point of the July. Madness I tell you!

I therefore decided I’d put into words what the July is to me, a veteran of six, yes SIX Durban July’s. I’m yet to be underwhelmed by this event and that’s possibly the highest compliment I can pay to the event and its organisers. Okay I concede, that you’ve got to make your own fun, and I’ll also concede that my group of mates could make the red zone in Iraq a festive place at the worst of times. However, the July just seems to bring out the best (or worst depending on who you are)in me!

I have discovered in my many outings to this trip that it has something for everyone. For the female of the species, it’s the perfect opportunity to go shopping for new undies, clothes and shoes. Often not because they need to, but because they need to! Never mind that the lady in question went shopping for an outfit earlier that month when going to her mates wedding. That’s not the point, the point is she’s got the perfect opportunity to get dolled up! For the fellas it’s the one chance you get to perv of the female form without actually being called a pervert. And make no mistake, some belter is going to rock up half naked! And she won’t mind one bit if you ogle her! You’re lady might, but hey what are sunglasses for?

Then there are the marquees with the endless supply of throat lubricants! Couple that with the sun (why do you seem to get more boozed when the sun is up?) and you’ve got an absolute humdinger of a day.  

Of course if you are a betting man then it is even more ideal! There are twelve races to choose from and apparently if you win the place accumulator you can phone your boss from your marquee and let him know what you really think about his ridiculous comb over, and also make him aware that you won’t be coming in on Monday, or ever actually! I have placed wagers at the last three races I’ve been to and have won all three. This is due to no great skill on my part and so it is only proper that I thank my good mate house music for the tips. He always seems to fare quite well at the races, which makes me wonder how much longer he’ll be putting in his 9 to 5 shift.

For the single “looking to sow his oates” in a manner of speaking, well the Vodacom Durban July is the ideal setting for this! There is a host of beautiful women in their Sunday best, with their Friday worst looking to come out! It’s the perfect place to hook up with someone. Even if that someone is the waitress from the marquee you’re partying in...         

  On the whole it’s a festive environment, and a great escape from the humdrum lives we live. Hope to see you all there next year!

Barcelona

Wrote this just after Barcelona's 5-0 trouncing of Real Madrid.

 I love the way my Manchester United plays football. That positive, high energy football. From time to time that meticulous passing, and of course the individual brilliance at times of guys like Nani, Rooney, and Berbatov. It's all very pleasing to my rosy tainted glasses. I suppose contrary to Arsenal's assertions the Premier league is more about power, pace, and tactical guile than real flair and really outstanding technical ability. This is not to suggest that there aren't many, many technically brilliant footballers in the premiership or that teams don't play with great flair-at times- in the premiership. Not by a long shot! It is however the minority of the time.

Without my rose tainted specs though, I have to pay the highest compliment I can to FC Barcelona! That is by candidly stating that they are way more entertaining to watch than my beloved Manchester United. There is something about the way they play that says to me, the football God's when they gave us this most wonderful of gifts called football, demanded the early football players to play the way Barcelona play. It is positively mesmerising. Call this a knee jerk reaction to their dismantling of Real Madrid. I don't mind! That was essentially a match up of the two best teams in the world currently. Form, and indeed honours clearly stated that. But you could not have guessed! Such was Barcelona's ridiculous control of the game, had someone completely new to the game been informed that Real Madrid were a struggling basement side in La liga, noone would've a raised any eyelid! It was for the lack of a better word beautiful. As an armchair coach/critic/strategist I had come up with a nigh fool proof plan for Madrid to stop Barcelona playing. In the world of armchair critics/coaches/strategists we're never proved wrong. Simply because we're never put to the test. Well, it'd seem there's a first for everything! My carefully laid plan was blown out of the water by a team so rampant that, it's not likely that China's million man army could stop them. They were comitted, fearless, tactically and technically aware and then some... Dare I say it...They were unstoppable!

I've read and listened to many reports emphasising where Mourinho's shortcomings lay last night. But I don't think Mourinho nor Real Madrid had anything to do with their capitulation last night. I don't think any team or coach could've stopped Barcelona. Even Johann Cruyff if asked to coach a side playing against last night's Barcelona, would've had to put his arms up and admit defeat!
The scariest thing for me, and my Manchester United was that, that was no fluke. Nor was it just one one of those days when everything comes together-well actually it was. The problem, however, is that these days come regularly. Pretty much as regularly as they play. What?!

As the great armchair critic/coach/strategist I have only one bit of advice to mangers and teams that'll come up against that Barcelona team in the near future...Be afraid...Be very afraid!

Poem for my Farger

A poem I wrote for my timer on his 60th birthday. Poetry is NOT my thing! But it was quirky and fun...Well I think at least!

Poem for my Farger

His willingness to educate

Makes me want to reciprocate

His ready smile

I can spot from a mile

His overflowing love

As pure as a white dove

His pride honour and integrity

Simply, inspire

I look at the boy I am today,

& hope that is the man I will be tomorrow