So many of my last couple of posts have been about sport, one would think it’s the only area I have an interest, in life. Jose Mourinho and his Man United are driving me so crazy, I’m always writing about them. I’m going to give the sport a rest for a minute though. This blog is dedicated to my new found sobriety. This has to be one of the best journeys I have ever been on. If you’re familiar with that war cry “don’t wanna go home, don’t wanna go home, this is the best trip I’ve ever been on” then you know my current life anthem.

So, I decided to give myself a break from alcohol at the beginning of October. I have been meaning to do “Ocsober’ the last two years, but I always seemed to find great reasons to break that pact with myself. To be completely honest when OcSober started this year, I anticipated it would go the same way. True enough, one week in to it came a weekend where I told myself I had to have a couple of tipples. I did too! That first weekend, I drank all weekend. Friday at dinner with family friends, Saturday at the rugby, and Sunday at Market on main with family. I was well within my rights to drink I thought. Besides, I told myself, I’ll just get back on the horse on Monday. I did that too. This time though, something felt different. It wasn’t the hangover either. There was just a feeling that said, no more for the next month at least. That was it. I was on the wagon. There suddenly was no good reason to drink. Whether it was braaing with some mates over the weekend, or going out for dinner with a beautiful new girlfriend (more on that later) or even Friday night drinks with mates from out of town. Nothing. There was no reason to indulge in a tipple.
I am writing this on November 15th, meaning I haven’t drank in just over a month, and I am absolutely loving it. This is the best I have felt in my adult life. I have lost a significant amount of weight though nobody seems to notice it... I am in the gym six days a week which was unheard of prior to this. I mean five days, sure, but Saturdays were for recovery from Friday nights excess. It’s quite fantastic really. Recently my mother asked a tougher than I expected question when I told her I'm likely drink over the festive period. Face deadpan she asked “why would you drink when you have demonstrated that you don’t need to? You still go out and have fun, you haven’t complained about sudden boredom as a result, why then would you start again ?” I have to admit the first thing that popped in to my head was “well because I enjoy it”  but then I thought about it properly and realised that even if I do-and I’m pretty sure I do-it’s only for a fleeting moment. After that I’m hungover for two or three days. My hangovers are also characterised by semi-depressions, what my friendship circle termed “loser complex” or “LC” for short. There’s no feeling I hate more than that. My general battle with self confidence is a tough enough struggle, quite why one would want to heap that added pressure of a loser complex in to the mix as well astounds me. With that in mind, I had a serious question about returning to the bottle over the festive period...

My relationship with alcohol has actually generally been a good. There is no better ice breaker than sharing a tipple with someone. In my experience it is the greatest mood enhancer. When the times are good,  they’re really good! I have always enjoyed it. Drinking that is. I enjoy the taste of beer, and I love a gin and tonic/Basotho Heart ginger beer when it's party time. These new craft beers have also taken a bit of my heart. Weiss beer is my thing. The issue is, I was starting to enjoy these delights with too much frequency. Even if I wasn’t dependent on alcohol-which I don’t think I’ve ever been-I had begun drinking too frequently. There was always a reason to drink. A Maluti draught at lunch, a couple of beers on Tuesday and Wednesday night watching Champions league football. A couple of GnT's on Thursday night. Many GnT's on Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Repeating that cycle regularly. I would wonder to myself why I couldn’t lose weight when I was working so hard in the gym, yet the answer was right there in front of me.

Dutch courage... Most males I’ve encountered are familiar with this concept. Get a couple of drinks in you so that you might work up a level of courage that will allow you to speak to the pretty girl you might not have otherwise. That Dutch courage extends even further in that it might allow you to be a better version of yourself once you’ve broken the ice with whomever's taken your fancy... This is where the new gorgeous girlfriend comes in. Now that I have her in my life I no longer require Dutch courage nor do I require an amplifier of my personality. She seems to tolerate me as is. The highest compliment anybody could pay you in my opinion. Err, let me just say while I’m at it, that she’s been really awesome through this period, encouraging me to keep at it, and going so far as to even undertake her own sober couple of weeks. She’s great, and I could wax lyrical about her for hours. I won’t though. Not here at least.

So, I’m still not sure whether I will drink over the festive period. I probably will, but I will definitely drink differently to any festive prior to this. For one it’s not likely that I will drink on consecutive days. Nor will I indulge to a point where I can’t go to gym the following day. And one thing I’m pretty sure about, is that come January 2019 I will give the bottle up for good. I’m giving Maluti Mountain Brewery fair warning as this is likely to affect their bottom line! I kid... Do I?!

The United quandary....

So.. Two wins in the last eight games. That’s a woeful statistic! Shipped plenty of goals in those games too. It is really tough going at the moment at the Theatre of Dreams. Fans of other teams, (the so called haters) have had an absolute field day with the run of poor United results. The press, and ex-players have weighed in to the mêlée too. It’s all got a bit much to be honest. Jose for his part has gone to Super José mode. Admonishing all and sundry. Sometimes Ed and his board, sometimes circumstances and recently the Manchester police came in for a piece of the action over their failure to provide a detail for United to arrive at a Champions League home game on time. United’s problems are so deep at the moment they can’t arrive at their own home game on time!

The popular narrative pertaining to United is that of a washed out José who works for an investment banker more concerned with the bottom line than results on the pitch. I wish to hone in on the second part of this popular narrative. The investment banker who quite frankly couldn’t oversee an under nine football team. It’s just not his area of strength. In the same way José couldn’t crunch the numbers and make United as commercially viable as Ed has. There is a question I keep asking myself relating to this situation. Why are the Glazers so content with what they see happening? As in, why have they allowed this frostiness (if it’s true there is frostiness) between the two most important people at the club to develop. When Ed reportedly denied José access to the cheque book when José craved a central defender why didn’t they see the potential for crisis that would emanate from that? I don’t even mean on the field. I mean in their ensuing interaction. Obviously José would wonder out loud what qualified Ed to make such a decision. The fans too have started to ask this question.

I watched Gary Nevilles passionate interview. His annoyance with the administration of the biggest club in England was plain for all to see. He, like many of us, has had just about all there is to take from our clubs administration. Incidentally, the Glazers are the central protagonists in guiding United to this situation. When David Gill decided he was best placed to run for a spot on the UEFA executive, the primary priority should have been to ensure at the very least one more year with Sir Alex. The situation with Lady Cathy notwithstanding, the United Board could have pleaded for one more year from the clubs leader. At worst this would have allowed for a smoother transition from the Ferguson/Gil era to the Woodward/Whomever era. In various excerpts I have read, it is apparent that bits of the culture built under Sir Alex were eroded when Moyes came in. Things that seem menial until they are put to the test. Quite apart from Moyes encouraging Ferdinand & Vidic who were Champions League winners to take notes from an Everton central defensive pairing that never even played in the Champions League, Moyes’ understanding of a club the size of United was wanting. In spite of the title of manager, and the buck ultimately stopping with him, it was not possible for him to run United they way he had Everton. There were rumours of discontent with the support staff. Apparently it was not uncommon to hear murmurs like “the Everton loinyet?” with reference to Moyes, and his assistants. A culture of “us and them” having developed. Hardly a warm working relationship from a club built on as familial an atmosphere as possible under the previous administration.

As it is, the United situation is unlikely to change. So, the Old Trafford faithful will have to hope and pray that the recent rumours of a hundred million pounds spending money in January are true. We also have to really hope that United’s purchasing strategy will be far smarter than its been in the last little while. Not likely given that it will still be overseen by a investment banker who’s football instincts leave a lot to be desired....

The 10 shortest South African books ever written...

The 10 shortest South African books ever written..:

1) Jacob Zuma "I didn't do it"

2) ANC NEC "We always said Zuma was guilty"

3) "We understand that redress is a tough process, and we're happy to have our lives disrupted in order to achieve it" by White South Africans

4) "We've never claimed to know it all" by Black Twitter

5) "We respect our women, and would never hurt them" by All Men

6) How to keep a girlfriend by Kabelo Mollo

7) "All our business dealings are above board" by the Guptas

8) "We're serious about transformation" by Big Business South Africa. Foreword written by South African Rugby

9) "We are particularly reasonable" by Security Guards

10) "It's not that I hate Jacob Zuma" by Julius Malema

An ode to fandom

As a football fan I'm easily susceptible to goading from fans of other clubs. I do it all the time with good success. Goad other fans in to defending their useless teams that is.


Supporting Man United means you're more likely to hear hate toward your team than any other English team. Fortunately the only team that has managed as much success or acclaim as United has failed to win even a single league title in the Premier league era. That makes it easy to dish out "abuse" to the lesser clubs. Arsenal, Chelsea and now Manchester City have had dominant spells in the league but none have enjoyed the type of  absolute dominance United did. Indeed, as I type this the last team to win back-to-back league titles remains Manchester United. Man United have won more league titles than any other English team, while they have the second most FA cup and Champions league trophies in her majesty's rainy kingdom.


And so back to the goading. Lately I have come across much belittling of the most successful English team (and certainly biggest by way of stature) in the professional era. Liverpool and Arsenal fans have all offered their expert opinions on the fortunes of United in the future. Liverpool fans seem to understand the six points their team has amassed after two games to be akin to a league championship, while Arsenal who sit fourth from bottom continue to be boisterous in spite of an indifferent start to the league under a new regime.
The goading from fans of these clubs has been relentless and if I didn't support a club with an honors roll the type mine does, I might be holed up in a corner wondering why I support this club.


What's most annoying though is the football pundits and their views. Some scribes have taken to writing proverbial obituaries of Jose Mourinho's career as well as Man Uniteds future. This is all after two games. Some journalists have become experts on body language, and facial expressions. Mourinho, it is said walks around with a scowl on his face and doesn't get on with Paul Pogba. Column inches are filled with this narrative and it is not likely to stop until Mourinho losses his job or United go on a run that makes them serious title contenders. Which ever comes first.
And so back to being goaded... The thing about defending your clubs honour is you have to attack the other clubs lack thereof. Attack is the best form of defense in this case, as in the Champions League final.


I was told once that Man United fans are the most obnoxious. I am not so sure they are. Football fanatics are all pretty obnoxious. The thing is, you're only as obnoxious as your team allows you to be. United fans were allowed to be obnoxious for a long time, all you need to do is think back to Arsenals invincible season, and how obnoxious those guys were... So, in closing I wish the fans of the lesser clubs success similar to that of mine...

Square pegs. Round holes.. A Manchester tale

Against my better judgment I'm once again adding my voice to the myriad of those spewing opinions with regard to Manchester United.
This time though, my invective is aimed at fellow Man United fans.
I frequently come across opinions on social media that seek to vilify the board and the Glazers while offering Jose Mourinho leeway. I think it's possible to make a case both ways. I'm going to make mine against Jose...


Let me start by saying, I think Jose Mourinho was a fantastic manager. When he declared himself "the special one" he wasn't blowing smoke up his own rear end, he really was special. Even beyond that, he went on to achieve major honours in a very special way! To argue that he doesn't have great pedigree, or a fantastic legacy is to show him grave disrespect. I have no intention of doing such.


I enjoyed Jose through both his reigns at Chelsea. He brought something new, something different to the Premiership. It was great to see his verbal jousts with the "specialist in failure" Arsene Wenger, and it was equally great to see his tactical sparring with the greatest British manager of all time Sir Alex Ferguson. Even if Sir Alex was consistently bested by the impetuous, fresh faced Portuguese. 


All of that contributed to my excitement when Ed Woodward announced that the helter skelter Van Gaal era was to be succeeded by a new Mourinean dawn! The quiet voice at the back of my mind that wondered about drab one nil draws at Chelsea was drowned out by the cacophony of honours he brought with him! He's won everything I told myself, as I grinned like a Cheshire cat.


In the interest of time I'm going to cut straight through to present day to suggest why he is the square peg in the round hole rather than the Glazers.
Many fans who lament the Glazers ownership of United seem to understand the owners to be leeches sucking the lifeblood out of the team with ne'ery a care in the world for results. This doesn't seem congruent with the success Sir Alex was able to achieve even with the Glazers at the helm and saddled with the massive debt they brought along with them. In his book, Sir Alex mentions having no problems and more importantly no hindrances from them. The Newton Heath brigade though, never let up.


Post Sir Alex, and realising that a new path was required, the Glazers through their executive VP Woodward sanctioned the spending of big money. That Woodward was unable to spend the money wisely is mainly down to his lack of granular football understanding. He acquiesced to José's every whim just about. On Mourinho's request Lindelof and Bailly  were brought in on big money, Schweinsteiger was moved on, to be replaced by transfer record breaking Paul Pogba. Subsequent to that Lukaku was brought in for top dollar, so too Alexis Sanchez. In this transfer window where Jose felt hard done by, Dalot and Fred have come in. Fred on big bucks and Dalot on potential.

The idea that the board or the Glazers haven't backed José is unfair at best,or  downright ludicrous at worst.
José has failed in my opinion to appreciate "the United way". A club with an affinity for the finer things in life. 6-1 victories against the club second on the log (that's right Arsenal). 7-1 victories on grand European nights, and come from behind EPICS that have left even the most faithful of fans in a state of disbelief. His pragmatism doesn't allow for it. There's nothing Woodward nor the Glazers can do about that.


My view is, we ought to let José manage the turn around of what has been a poor start to the season. Hopefully we manage to finish in the Champions league spots again, but in the mean time try to find a manager that will better suit the "Theatre of Dreams".

One more old random rambling...

I'm weary of making arguments when I don't have the necessary amount of facts. I'm especially weary of making said arguments when i know my opinion on the matter is an unpopular one.
 With that said I'm going to ventilate my views on Winnie Mandela once more.
 In the age of social media where the lunatic fringe can manoeuvre its self in to the discourse and nimbly form its self in to conventional wisdom, I am especially weary of holding (and sharing) a contrarian view.
 I have seen many rational and cogent arguments about why Winnie Madikizela-Mandela is a hero. I have seen many lucid opinion pieces acknowledging that while she may have had some flaws, the end justified the means. Indeed many have waxed lyrical about her almost one woman crusade in the townships during those especially tough times between the 70s and 80s in South Africa. The anger and hurt is still virtually palpable as people, especially women talk about how their heroine was treated. I found myself getting rather emotional as I read an essay on Madikizela-Mandela's incarceration experience. The inhumane conditions which she was made to endure were the cruelest of punishments. I read also, about the effect of patriarchy and misogyny in the Winnie Mandela story being told. I was ashamed at my reaction. Ashamed because I wasn't moved to feeling the injustice that I normally do when I'm called out for my misogyny.
 It's strange. I know she suffered at the alter of patriarchy, every woman-certainly in sub Saharan Africa-does. Hers was a public suffering though. Painful, undoubtedly!
I suppose I must say up front that I never hero worshipped Winnie Mandela when she was alive. What has also come to my attention and I realise now that it requires serious counselling on my part is that I actually don't hero worship any female struggle veteran. I hold Albertina Sisulu, and Adelaide Tambo in high regard. I have a very special place in my heart for Limpho Hani but that's not because I revere them as the warriors they obviously were and remain. That I suppose is what patriarchy looks like.
 I suppose, having said all that i can delve in to my apprehension. The much publicised Stompie Seipei matter was always top of mind when I spoke of my lack of reverance when speaking of Madikizela-Mandela. Fortunately light has been shed on the matter and it has been reiterated that she did not kill Stompie.
 The issue for me is that, that's not quite where Madikizela-Mandela's complicity in young black children's death ends. The Mandela United football club by all accounts reigned terror on the township and virtually became a law unto its self. The kangaroo courts Madikizela-Mandela, and her merry bunch of men set up were brutal enforcers of a kind of mob justice that still leaves the heart sore even thirty years on. The matches and the necklaces are the harshest reminders of the sentences meted out by Mandela United.
I have read many opinions on various social media decrying the idea that many atrocities were carried out in the Mkhonto weSizwe camps and furthermore, many hurtful deeds enacted on comrades in exile. I agree that those thing should be equally denounced by the ANC and the liberation movement. In fact not nearly enough has been written or documented about such things as Quatro; as well as the all too many sexual abuses that transpired in the exile days. More really must be done to get those stories out.
 Having said that, that doesn't in my view absolve the Mandela united football club and its leader from owning its very painful and terribly public errors. Just on that matter. I have heard some among us castigating Archbishop Desmond Tutu for asking Madikizela-Mandela to apologise for any errors in judgment that may have been made during that period. After all, to err is human. But in her own words Madikizela-Mandela was seething at the mere suggestion that she make such an apology. "How dare he, how dare he..." The anger in her voice thick with disdain. And yet I agree with Tutu. That moment was one I suspect-and at the risk of putting ideas in the Arch's mouth-where Tutu saw an opportunity for Madikizela-Mandela to not only atone but to reclaim the lofty perch her neighbours and immediate community had brought her down from post football club era.
 There is much information and misinformation being peddled in the various media we consume. Truths and more especially half truths have become the order of the day. There almost seems to be a battle for the ownership of the legacy of Winnie Madikizela-Mandela. That is high praise indeed for her. But my worry is that we will sacrifice expedience over truth in this ongoing battle. I also worry that there will be many unintended consequences (some that will prove more serious than others) in this apparently zero sum game.
 Thandeka Gqubule-Mbeki has already found herself ostracized at the suggestion that she may have been a Stratcom agent. The burden of proof has been thrust upon her to clear her name. The principle of law that she's innocent till proven guilty has been summarily subverted on the back of a decidedly one sided documentary. Perhaps some will argue, Madikizela-Mandela was subjected to a similar fate. The simplest answer to that being two wrongs don't make a right.
The challenge we face as young (especially black people) grappling with the baggage of times gone by while also trying to set up brighter futures for us and our loved ones is how do we relate to issues. That is to say, how are we researching history, how are we coming to terms with experiences that blighted the past but also shape the future. Surely the social media venom and divisiveness of some leaders over this period cant be allowed to take root?
 Winnie Madikizela-Mandela is in what we laymen sentimentally call "a better place". Her heroism in the face of brutal oppression will surely inspire many thousands to be brave when called upon.
 To look at her in a binary sense as either bad or good will not assist us going forward I don't think. The notion that one can be both hero and villain is key to her legacy in my humble opinion.
The big tree has fallen. Long live the big tree

An old random rambling...

And there it is. South Africa's brand new cabinet (is it?!) ushering in the brand new dawn (huh?!)
President Ramaphosa has done what he said he'd do and appointed a deputy president as well as made some changes to the cabinet. Some have hailed these appointments as a step in the right direction. Others have wondered how on earth this is a new dawn. Some are elated. Some are despondent. Some are indifferent. The euphoria that surrounded the ousting of Jacob Zuma is slowly dissipating, leaving me with a melancholy I'm not willing to face.
Some among us had high hopes for the Republics incumbent president. It was argued in some quarters that what he'd done as a union leader, drafter of the constitution and negotiator in the CODESA process would assist him in dragging the country forward even if it was kicking and screaming. That may well be the case. The man has only been president for two weeks. To write anything like a political obituary would be downright stupid.
However, there seem to be ominous signs. On more than one occasion now, the president has had the opportunity to deal decisively and effectively with the country in mind. On both of said occasions he has failed to do so, opting instead for a consultative inclusive approach with his party's unity taking preference. If it is true that last nights appointment announcement was moved back in order for continued consultation to take place then I'm not sure that augurs well for a country that requires firm decisive leadership.
I am surprised that a former corporate citizen has missed out on the opportunity for a power play. I am though, acutely aware that I have no idea what the inner workings of the ANC are, nor the machinations of president Ramaphosa's inner circle. I don't think I need them though. I'm merely opining on what I see, and I what I see isn't particularly convincing.
I think the president in executing his prerogative has done very well in reinstating Nhlanhla Nene to finance, and Pravin Gordhan to public enterprises where he's undoubtedly tasked with reinvigorating our state owned enterprises. Both these former ministers seem to have good track records. Derek Hanekom seems to be a man of principle. An admirable quality, particularly in politics. Lets hope his tourism ministry will fulfill its potential.
I'm at an absolute loss for words at the maintenance of cabinet posts by Nomvula Mokonyane and more especially Bathabile Dlamini. In what was supposed to be a new era, the president has managed to leave us with the sour taste in the mouth of one who will "pick the rand up when it falls" and the other with her "em, smallernyana skeletons". An affront to a public desperately in need of capable political leaders.
I have been quite bemused by the excitement of people on various social media regarding the recall of Bheki Cele to the higher echelons of political power. Quite aside from his militarization of the police "service" he is also a man who lost his job as police commissioner owing to corruption. Kgomotso Phahlane (the last police commissioner) is in court facing corruption charges currently, which makes me wonder whether we'll soon see him with the title of Honorable minister.
If it seems like I am predicting doom and gloom, it's because I am. My strongly held view is that the abyss the ANC government- specifically under Jacob Zuma- led us in to will require more than negotiation and horse trading to come out of. I suspect it requires swift, deft strategy as well as firm bold leadership. If the risk is that such action may lead to a one term president then so be it. In that one term it is up to the president to show the republic what we'll be missing when he's gone. This cat and mouse game in order to extend the head of states stay in Tuynhuis leaves me cold.

Random Ramblings of a mad man...

Having read Rebecca Davis' column in the Sunday Times this past weekend I began to wonder to myself. Why are we as males so averse to menstruation? What is it about this period in time that disgusts us so much?


Those of us who are rugger buggers or sports players of any kind come across blood from time to time on the sports field and we deal with it and move on. But God forbid we should come across even an unused tampon...


I get that it's a taboo, and indeed it should be a privacy thing for the female of the species. But why does it offend us so?
I wrote about it once in a blog about how social media has made personal things shareable. I said something about never having been confronted by women being so comfortable sharing their period experiences. At the time I thought that strange but now I realise the strange one was me.


Power to the sisters. Be aware that we love ya'll all the time, regardless of the time of month, day or year!